Victor's Mistress
by PlayerPiano
Summary: Something quite interesting regarding Victor and Victoria's marriage is unearthed. Oneshot.


**Victor's Mistress**

"What am I looking for again?" Victor asked. He was seated at his large mahogany desk in the study. Well, his and Victoria's, more precisely, since they shared it. Feeling that it would be rather impolite to rifle through Victoria's side of the desk while she was in the room, he decided to tackle his own side first. He pulled open the top drawer on the right hand side and took a look at its contents. The drawer was filled near to brimming with various papers, all carelessly tossed in together. As he sifted through the pile, Victor noticed that several of them were half-done sketches. Not very good ones, either—that would probably explain why they were hidden away in his desk.

"Oh, look, I started this one almost a year ago," he said, lifting a scrap of paper out of the drawer and pointing at the date. "I remember this. I stopped because I realized I'm not very good at drawing people. Oh, and here's one of a bird...I think...I can't quite tell..."

"Victor, I think you're getting side-tracked," Victoria interrupted affectionately from across the room, where she sat on her knees in front of an open cabinet. She had a small box open on her lap, and was busy sorting through its contents.

"To answer your question," she continued, "we're looking for the floor plans to our house. And they're not in here," Victoria finished, replacing the box's lid and stowing it back into its cabinet.

The two of them had been in the study for almost a half an hour already, with Victoria thinking aloud to herself as she prowled the room investigating all of the places where she normally kept household-related documents, and Victor not doing too much of anything. He wasn't very good at searches like this—his attention tended to wander. So far he'd found a pen that he'd lost ages ago, a clump of dust that looked a bit like a rabbit if he squinted, and a copy of _Jane Eyre_ that had somehow wound up behind the sofa, but no floor plans.

When Victor and his father had drawn up plans for the house ten years ago, neither of them had really considered the logistics of housing a family. Now there were three children, and it had occurred to Victor and Victoria that more room was going to be necessary. They wanted to figure out the best way to add another bedroom to the house, for when the children outgrew the nursery. And for that, they needed the house plans.

"They're not in here, either," Victor said, closing the desk drawer and opening the one beneath it. It was just as messy as the first one. Whenever Victor needed to store something, he had the tendency to just toss it into the nearest drawer or onto the nearest shelf without too much organization. Every quill that he'd ever broken seemed to be in this particular drawer, along with several other various odds and ends. Just in case Victoria was interested, Victor kept up a commentary about the more fascinating things he unearthed.

"Victoria, remember that cigarette case my uncle sent me for my birthday a few years ago?"

"The one you lost?" Victoria asked in return, crossing the room to stand behind his chair.

"I've just found it," he said, plucking the case out of the drawer. It had his initials engraved on it, and was rather deep for a cigarette case. "How did it get in there, I wonder?"

"And why is it all rusted?" Victoria took the case from him and turned it over in her hands. Victor had to take a moment to think back.

"I let the girls try to catch minnows with it last summer," Victor said. That had been a rather fun afternoon, come to think of it. Looking up, Victor noticed that Victoria was giving him a rather strange look. He shrugged, and then said, "Well, what else was I going to use it for?"

"Fair enough," Victoria said with a smile. "Let's try looking in my side of the desk," she added, back to business. Victor nodded, pulling his chair out of the way a little to give her more room.

"I keep all of our important documents in here," she said, tapping the topmost drawer. It was the only one on the desk that had a lock. "Hand me that little key that's tucked under the desk blotter, please."

After a few seconds of searching, Victor found the key and handed it to her. Within moments the drawer was unlocked and Victoria pulled out three stacks of paper, each neatly bound up with string. She picked up the first stack and handed it to Victor.

"Those should be mostly personal papers, like birth certificates," she said as Victor began untying the string. "These two stacks here are old financial papers, I think...but I could have put the floor plans in with them, I suppose."

Victoria pulled up a chair and sat down next to him, and they both began sorting through the papers. Victor had to marvel at Victoria's organizational skills—everything neat and orderly and in its proper place. He'd always liked that about her.

She'd been right, too—the pile that Victor was looking through _was _birth certificates. He smiled reminiscently when he found all three of their daughters' certificates, and handed them over for Victoria to look at. Then there was his own birth certificate, and underneath that, Victoria's. He rather wanted to stop and look over everything, but he also felt that he'd wasted enough time. It would be time to call the children down for tea in a little while, and he knew that Victoria wanted to find those house plans. Glancing over at her, he saw that she was having about as much luck as he was. Victor continued to sort through the pile almost mechanically, until the title on one of the papers caught his eye.

"Victoria, look at this," he said, tapping her forearm to get her attention. Victoria set down the document that she'd been flipping through.

"What is it?" she asked, leaning over toward him. In response Victor tilted the document to give her a better view.

"Our marriage license," Victor said. He hadn't seen it in the longest time...Actually, not since they'd gotten married.

"I haven't looked at that for a while," Victoria remarked, echoing his thoughts. They sat for a moment, reading it over. Then Victor's eyes reached the bottom of the paper. He did a double take. _This is very interesting, _he thought, scanning the page again.

"What's the matter?" Victoria asked, noticing his expression. Victor looked at her, then down at the marriage license, then at Victoria again.

"Well..." he started to reply, then paused. After hesitating for just a moment, he pointed to the license.

"You never signed our marriage license," Victor said. Before he even had time to blink, Victoria plucked the paper out of his hand. He watched her read it, not quite sure how to feel. Victoria gasped a little and put a hand over her mouth.

"How is...how is that possible?" she asked. "How could you sign it without me there?"

That was a good question. Victor thought back. Finally he replied, "My parents had me sign it before I even met you. You were supposed to sign it after the ceremony." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Victor realized how silly that was. Probably borderline illegal as well, although that hadn't occurred to him ten years ago. Why was it that his parents could get away with almost anything just because they were wealthy?

Again, Victoria was thinking along the same lines as he was. "Surely that's not right," she said. "Aren't people supposed to sign a marriage license _together_?"

All Victor could do was shrug rather helplessly. Victoria shook her head.

"I suppose that in all of the...confusion that happened around our wedding, we simply weren't thinking about a marriage license," she said staunchly. She turned and looked Victor in the eye. "But we _are _married. Pastor Galswells married us. After he got his wits back, that is. A piece of paper doesn't really mean anything."

With that, Victoria placed the offending document back on the desk in front of Victor. She seemed quite prepared to forget the entire thing, evidenced by the way she went back to looking through her pile of papers. But Victor was still thinking. Victoria was right, they _were _married...and yet...Victor grinned a slightly wicked little grin and looked at Victoria out of the corner of his eye.

"Perhaps we're married in some sense," Victor said carefully, keeping his eyes on the desktop. He could feel Victoria's eyes on him. "Though I don't think we're _legally _married. Meaning, married in the eyes of the law--without a marriage license signed by both of us, that is."

"What are you saying, Victor?" Victoria asked, her eyes slightly narrowed. She'd given up the pretense of sorting through documents, and all of her attention was focused squarely on him now.

"Well, Victoria," he replied, struggling not to smile as he waved the marriage license back and forth, "Just that...You're actually my mistress."

From the look she gave him, Victor could tell that she was not nearly as amused as he was. "Explain that, please," she said, staring at the license in his hand.

"Well, I'm married," he said, pointing to his signature. "But since you never signed this, you, technically, are not. Yet you live with me, and we...well, you know...So in a technical sense, you're my mistress."

"In a technical sense," Victoria repeated. Before Victor could finish nodding, she added, "Victor, that doesn't make any sense at _all_, let alone technical sense. You're married because you're married to me. I'm your wife!"

"Not _technically_," Victor insisted. "I'm your husband, but you're not my wife."

Victoria stared at him. "That's...that's...completely foolish!" she finally said.

"Goodness," Victor said, eyeing Victoria. "I'd never have guessed that you were the type to take up with a married man. For ten years, no less."

"You aren't funny, Victor."

"I'm not saying I _mind_...It's rather exciting, really."

"It is not."

"Just think," Victor continued, stroking his chin with his fingers, "I've been living with a woman I'm not married to for ten years. I never would have expected it of myself."

"Victor, _please_!"

Victoria's tone got his attention, and he turned to look at her. He blanched a bit when he saw her expression. She looked almost hurt. He should have known better than to tease about anything related to the circumstances of their wedding--it was still a rather touchy subject. And probably always would be. Feeling very guilty, Victor reached over and took her hand.

"I was just playing," he said quietly. "Of course we're married. And I'm very glad that we are."

"Are you really?" Victoria asked, her voice steady and her eyes on the floor. Victor had often sensed that Victoria had some lingering doubts about his feelings for her, after the mess Victor had gotten himself into before they'd married. However, being the person she was, Victoria had never come out and admitted that she was unsure. She was an unbelievably kind and understanding woman, but, Victor realized, she was also human. There was absolutely nothing he could do to positively assure her of how much he loved her, and that he'd never had any desire to go back and change what had happened, besides telling her so. Never once had he had any doubts. All he could do was believe that Victoria trusted him, and leave it at that--he'd made that decision years ago.

"Oh, Victoria, of _course_," he said, stroking her hand. She looked at him, and they held each other's gaze for a long moment. Finally Victoria nodded and smiled a little.

"Forgive me," she said, gently pulling her hand from his and turning her attention back to the papers on the desk. "I'm being ridiculous. It was silly of me to get upset."

"I shouldn't have teased you," Victor replied, realizing the reason why he rarely joked with anyone--he always felt too guilty afterward.

"No harm done. Why don't we get these papers put away? We'll look again some other time," Victoria said, sounding herself again. Victor felt a bit better.

In companionable silence they put the various papers back into neat piles, Victoria retying the string. She began putting the papers back into the drawer, and then she paused. She seemed to be thinking. As Victor watched, wondering, Victoria pulled the marriage license out of the drawer again and placed it on the desk.

"Hand me a pen, won't you?" she asked, holding out her hand. Victor obliged, sliding an inkwell across the desktop as well. Victoria dipped the pen into the ink, and then paused, pen poised over the marriage license. Turning to Victor, she smiled.

"We're going to be legal," she said, a laugh in her voice even as she kept a straight face. "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"You're positively sure you don't want to spend the rest of your life as my mistress?" Victor asked, standing up and leaning over her shoulder. "As long as my wife doesn't find out, we should be all right. And since you're both the same person, you'll know it the moment she begins to mind."

"Your wife would rather be married to you. _Technically_ married to you."

Victor nodded. "I'd prefer that as well."

With mock solemnity, Victoria put the pen to the paper and signed her name, her maiden name, next to Victor's. It was very strange, after all this time, to see her name written without "Van Dort" at the end of it. She waved the paper to dry the ink, and silently handed it over her shoulder to Victor. There it was. They were offically _legally_ married.

"Well, there we are," Victoria said, watching as Victor put the now legal marriage license back into the drawer. After the drawer was shut and locked, and the key put back under the blotter, Victor took Victoria's hands and gently pulled her out of her chair.

"May I kiss the bride?" he asked, smiling as Victoria blushed a little and looked down at the floor before meeting his eyes.

"Of course you may," she said with a smile.


End file.
